Reply to Would I be a jerk if I backed out of my family member’s bachelorette party?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would back out and I wouldn’t even eat the $800. They are being extremely inconsiderate by springing up expenses as if money grows on trees.

You should tell her that when you agreed to go to the bachelorette party you had no clue it was going to be in California, cost $800 plus airfare plus all the other expenses.[/quote]

This.[/quote]

Agree. They can easily cancel the Air BnB, look for a cheaper place, stay further away, fewer nights, etc. There are lots of options and giving an $800 gift doesn't have to be the only one here. Why wouldn't she be able to get her money back at this point? None of it is paid for.[/quote]

She should be able to get her money back, especially if it’s the air bnb and they’re all staying there. How many people are going OP?[/quote]

There’s 10 people in total including the bride. So without me and having to pay for the bride they would just have to pay an extra $100 for the air bnb[/quote]

So $800 is too much for you to pay for lodging but it’s fine for the other 9 attendees to “just” have to pay an extra $100 because you reneged on the plans? It’s a bit presumptuous to assume that they would even agree to give back your money.[/quote]

If they can expect OP to pay an extra $600 then for private masseuses then yea, they can the extra $100. Clearly it’s no issue for them. [/quote]

Exactly. If $800 is no biggie to eat as a "gift" then the rest of the party can pay $100, what's the problem? What's the cancellation policy, can you usually cancel up until a month out? This trip is next month so likely within the cancellation period. Or bride can just pay for herself, why do brides expect an all expense paid trip? I'd feel like an ass accepting that money from a cousin who can't quite afford it.[/quote]
It’s not that it’s no biggie- however OP agreed to go on the trip and already sent the money to pay for her share of the lodging. The money legally is no longer hers so trying to take it back by justifying it as no big deal for the others to each pay $100 more just doesn’t work. [/quote]

It works just fine. If I had someone in this situation I would give her the money back. There is nothing legally binding about this agreement. Do you often let money come between you at other people? That's pretty sad. [b]If $800 is nothing, then $100 is even less so.[/quote][/b]

Exactly. And if op sends a few hundred bucks to pay for the brides meals or for wineries that’s less that the others have to pay without OP shoveling out $800.[/quote]

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