Reply to ILs canceled family vacation…and blame me (who had zero to do with it)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Just asked DH how he posed it to his dad. He said he absolutely agreed with me asking the question, and presented it as a united front that we (he and I) wanted the information. He said that in no way on his end did he make it seem like “Larla wants to know…”

So we’re thinking now that he is going to send a message to MIL and FIL and me, stating that I had nothing to do with the trip being canceled, and that if MIL wants to know more about how that decision came about, she can take it up with FIL and the other logistical leads.

Thank you all! [/quote]

Yeah, OP.

"We" from a man to his family = "My wife" . "We" from a woman to her family = "My husband"

You don't say "we want to know"

This is what your DH should have said "Hey dad, is it possible to get a sense of how many people are vaccinated/unvaccinated? I think it's a good idea to plan accordingly, bla bla bla". [/quote]

I’m sorry you think and live this way. Some of us are rational and have functioning families.

When my brother says “we,” I know he means him and his wife. When THEY decided not to travel for my cousin’s wedding earlier in the spring, no one in my family laid that decision at the feet of his wife. And no one resented their decision.

When my mom says “we,” I know she’s telling me about a decision or an idea that she has discussed with my father. So I know whatever is being discussed now is something that my mom and dad are on the same page about.

When my husband says “I,” he means “I.” When my husband says “we,” he means him and me.

I recognize that many of you come from dysfunctional families full of pettiness, wife-blaming, misogynistic expectations, and passive aggressive behavior. I get that shapes your worldview, but do speak for yourself. [/quote]

If you are OP, how is that working for you?

It is interesting that you think using "I" instead of "we" is misogynistic. The same concept applies when a wife says "we" instead of I to her family.

Your family is so "rational and functional" that you had to tell your DH to ask a question on your behalf.  :roll:  If you had asked your FIL by yourself,  perhaps you could have conveyed what you meant instead of your DH butchering your intention.

Grow some wisdom.

[/quote]

I’m not OP. I didn’t tell my DH to ask a question for me. Get a grip.[/quote]

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