Reply to What did your spouse's midlife crisis look like?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Yep. This is where poor coping skill learned in childhood emerge. The kids that had alcoholic or cheating parents or poor attachment. They learned to self-soothe through sex and addictions. Instead of looking inside, they compartmentalize. When the going gets really rough midlife and they are unhappy---the drink and the strange sex is the way they get the dopamine hit and try to cope.[/quote]

[b]I'd be interested to know if this is true.[/b] I'm one of the PPs with a spouse who absolutely imploded in his mid-40s. Classic midlife crisis with an affair, new car, withdrawal from the family, etc.

He came from a loving home, had the full suport of his family, and had basically turned everything he touched into gold for years. I have always assumed his lack of resiliency, which showed up when he didn't hit his professional goals by a certain age, was about never having really been denied anything up to that point. It wasn't a bad childhood, it was a GOOD childhood that never taught him to bounce back. [/quote]

This is not true.  This is how insecure people deal with their anxiety, i e if I do A, B and C, my family will be spared AND I am better than those other people.

I have seen so many formerly golden children implode.[/quote]

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