Reply to Wife with Metastatic Breast Cancer

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH has a cancer he will live with for the rest of his life.  He is immunocompromised and there are other side effects from  [/quote]

Oops.. side effects from the meds.  It is not easy for us to have a romantic relationship (it is at times non-existent) but I stay because he is a good man and a good father.  I love him, maybe differently than before, but this is what we sign up for when we get married.[/quote]

A good example of how women react vs. men react.  This DW isn't complaining and instead talking about how her DH is a good man/father vs. OP's original post (I know he recanted a bit in later post).[/quote]

DP and not the PP to whom you are responding. Give the OP a break. He said he posted hastily and recognizes how it came across, and regrets that. Caregiving is phenomenally difficult. Caregivers sometimes have feelings that are not ideally kind and loving, even if they love their spouses deeply. The caregivers who reach out and ask for help, which OP is doing, and who admit to their own conflicted feelings and talk about them instead of letting feelings fester--those are the caregivers who will stay stronger, for longer.

Until you've been in the shoes of a caregiver for years, you have zero legitimacy to bash the OP.

It is also simply nonsense to lump entire genders together, as in "how women react vs. men react." Unless you have surveyed all women and all men on this exact topic, you're just blowing hot air, or projecting your own anger about something else onto this individual situation. Yes, I know a doctor upthread said women are 7x more likely to get left after a diagnosis, but that does not magically translate into "all women good and true, all men bad and disloyal." You have lost sight of individuals. And FYI, in case you decide to try to snark that I'm a DH defending the OP -- nope, I'm a DW.

[/quote]

So what I said is that is a good example of women's reaction vs. men's.  I didn't say all men or all women react that way.  Point is that 7X figure is significant and this is a good example of it.  OP's initial post was very different from his revised one and his tone was very different as well.  If you didn't see it that way, that's your opinion.  You and I had a different reading of his first post.  [/quote]

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