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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This won’t change much until *all* the adults stop crying about it and everyone takes some responsibility to actually DO something about this predicament.  You need to tell your family that they need to stop waiting for you to be The One to rescue them because it’ll sink you, too, ruin your marriage and then you’ll all be drowning together with no one left to help.

Tell your DH what’s going on, if only so he can understand what’s going on with you.  Show him your post here on DCUM and tell him it’s yours.

Start looking for a higher paying day job for yourself and take on a side job. Trim your household budget, sell extra stuff. Maybe your DH would be willing to get a second job, too, if only to help your own finances.

Send over the money only after you’ve saved it all in one lump sum so they don’t spend it on other things in the meantime.  Send only the minimum that they say they need monthly to stay afloat because they might be taking a bit more advantage of your generosity than they’re letting on. They may think that since you’re in the USA, you’re rich and it’s easier for you. They should be showing you that they’re putting in as much effort as you are.  If you have six adults working it requires just an average of $10K from each, which is a lot easier and faster than just one person working and having to save up the whole $60K alone.  [/quote]

Good advice.  OP, you reject what everyone tells you.  What are you hoping to get by posting here?  There is no magic solution that gets you out of telling your husband, giving your mom and sisters a reality check, and tightening your budget.  If you want to solve this problem without taking on more debt, that is what you have to do.[/quote]

OP here. I have talked to my sisters but they are angry and think it is my job to get a loan and bail them out. Since I am married and live in the U.S. I am "rich" and I am a terrible selfish sister for a. not asking my husband for money and/or b. taking out a loan of a lump sum.

I make 63k a year. After taxes and benefits, I get about 1200 twice a month. I have been sending them up to 2k in the past few months but I am now completely empty and have been sending them $600 the past few cycles. They are annoyed that I do not send more and annoyed that I haven't swopped in to save them.

The only option for me seems to be to get a second job to see if I can send them more. But its a strange situation because, since my father is unemployed and 65 years old, they will keep accumulating 3k in rent per month even AFTER the 60k debt is paid. They need to downsize drastically and/or move to India where my $600 a month go farther. [/quote]

You need to tell them that you and your DH still have $100K in student loans that you have to pay off, too, and you won’t be able to get a $60K loan on top of that without doing serious financial harm to yourself and your marriage.  They think you’re living on Easy Street and it seems that they’re too proud to get jobs they consider beneath them.  If they’re so slow to help themselves, I wonder how dire their need really is.

You might be their retirement plan, and they like their lifestyle.[/quote]

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