Reply to Our daughters boyfriend is now living with us, what are some realistic boundaries to set

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When we took in a teenager, we wrote up a list of house rules, and went over them with the kid.  We pointed out that there were two specific rules that if broken, would result in being kicked out immediately.

We went over the rules a month into the situation to see which ones needed to be edited, could be taken out, needed to be added, and we asked the kid for their input on this so they felt it was fair.

It worked fine for 2.5 years until they went to college. Keep in mind they won't always do things your way but as long as it doesn't really matter, let it go. Pick your battles. [/quote]

Do you mind if I ask for the list, I'm not really worried about him breaking any, but he's been such a nervous wreck (doing dishes at 3 am, cleaning bathrooms, washing our cars etc) and I think giving him a clear list of what's allowed will ease that part of it[/quote]

It was stuff like shoes off when coming inside, no food or drink in bedroom/outside of kitchen and dining room, no cursing in front of the younger kids, must ask permission to go places after school and to have friends over, if you break something fix it or tell us, if you make a mess clean it up and if it’s too overwhelming ask us for help, must leave by X time for school,  must do laundry once a week, etc. basically we started with rules about taking care of their space and giving them structure in a household, which was something they’d lacked. Then we added two household chores. [/quote]

Thank you[/quote]

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