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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anyone contemplating divorce due to Aspergers and oppositional personality or already been through it, with kids?

I'm really struggling. Being home all the time during Covid makes me realize what I've been living with - no more rose-colored glasses. Lots of arguments between us, and between husband and early elementary-aged kid, and then they're all lovey-dovey later, even after dad says "shut up" to the kid and tells me to "just leave the room" (today's fun, and no apologies). It's not a healthy environment. I've tried a half-dozen therapists over the years, but husband just isn't into therapy and really doesn't think he has much to improve on. He is a great friend and family member to others but at home, it's a different story. He seems to have learned how to keep his friends from seeing this side of him. I deal with verbal abuse sometimes - those Aspie tantrums you read about. He learned how to tame them when I was pregnant, so I was hopeful he would be open to more change, along with me, in therapy. But no.  I really hate the meanness of being told to "get a real job" when I work part-time and manage everything because his Aspie organizational skills only apply to his job specialization, and the daily stuff is a challenge. He would never admit to that. (Our finances are manageable.) I fear if we get divorced that the logistics of it would be a nightmare for our child, and that husband wouldn't be able to manage the meals, clothing, a regular sleep/eating schedule, keeping up with emails (he never opens/answers any of the school related ones), etc. And that having a respectful, good communication co-parenting situation would never fly. And did I mention the marriage became sexless after pregnancy? 
-Random woman's 3am rant.[/quote]

I have a husband with ADHD and autism so I understand your struggle. I also work part time because we have two sons with autism. I'm the main caretaker for everyone. 
I don't have any answers for you, at times I also wish I could break free and live my own life. I am weary of the day to day struggle. But at the same time I love my husband and family and try to make it work. One day at a time. 
If you're not already doing so, a family therapist helps. [/quote]

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