Reply to Update to "Minimal amount of secret drinking"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OMg they are all the same— happier without you and not drinking?  No he’s not.  He’s drinking but the other person doesn’t know.  It make take a few years for them to figure it out.  Might take a new wife a few years to figure it out.  This is not about you and will never be about you no matter how much he make me it so. [/quote]

yup.  put another way, happier without you because he doesnt feel the burning shame of you looking at him and reminding him he has failed you and your daughter.

OP I hope he succeeds in treatment and you stay together if that’s what you want, but I am on the other side of this - divorced last year after the 4th trip through rehab just as the pandemic started.  I am sad that we didnt get to live the life I had in mind for us (we shared hobbies, wanted to teach them to our kids, etc) but i am a million times happier alone/single parenting than I was with all that sneaky, lying, manipulative shit going on under my roof.  XDH is pretty involved with the kids and we have protections in place so he cant put them in harms way by drinking (intoxilock in the car, for ex), and I am glad he’s doing better.

It may not be the ending you want but you may be surprised how much better it feels to have all that drama gone.  [/quote]

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