Reply to Husband wants to go to Vegas on his paternity leave

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Reply to "Husband wants to go to Vegas on his paternity leave"

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[quote=Anonymous]I don't think it's horribly selfish to ask if OP would be okay with him going, as long as he says "I would COMPLETELY understand if you don't want me to."

My DH had 6 weeks of paternity leave and I had 4 months of maternity leave. When he went back to work, I was extremely ready for him to go. I'm glad we all had that time together, but his personality is that he likes to be doing things all the time, and he really struggled with the pace of parental leave and of a newborn. He was great -- changed lots of diapers, gave me lots of breaks, cooked dinners, cleaned, etc. But he also just had the antsy energy that eventually started driving me a bit crazy. I started really encouraging him to take time to go out to exercise just to get him to work off some of that energy. Otherwise he'd wind up pestering me too much about going to do things or being bored, and just.. no.

So I could actually see a situation where I might say "Yes, go!" if he asked to do something like this. But it would really need to be presented as "I do not feel entitled to this in any way but the opportunity is there and I wanted to see how you felt about it." And if I was terrified of being alone with the kids for that time, or if I was just flat out exhausted already just not up to going solo for a few days, I would expect him to happily let his friends he couldn't make it, no guilt trip on me. I think that's what bugs me about the way it sounds like he asked and about some of these responses -- the idea that it's unreasonable for OP to not want him to go. Of course that's not unreasonable! She just had a baby and she has a preschooler running around, and it doesn't sound like she has any other help. The default should be he stays and helps, and only if the stars align should he even contemplate going. [/quote]

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