Reply to S/O Has demanding sex ever actually worked for anyone?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Demanding is coercive. Hinting is deeply unsexy. Not initiating at all often means no sex at all. Basically nothing works if your wife stops wanting to have sex. [/quote]

I think this is true.  I also think a woman not wanting sex is a sign of a deeper marital problem.  She might feel, in the moment, that she's exhausted from the day's work.  I know I do.  I get up at 5am and it's nonstop serving everyone else but myself until 10 or so at night.  I do not want to have sex then, since it is basically another service to someone else.  My needs are never met.    If I had a better marriage and a husband who cared about my needs in bed, I don't think daily exhaustion would get in the way -- at least not as much.

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Maybe, but I have a great marriage to an attractive husband and....I have no desire for sex. It's 20 years of the same old, not sexy. I am not alone.[/quote]

Woman here, 42, married for 16 years and together for 19, 5 kids.

I don't get this.  I see it on here all of the time, but I don't know anyone IRL who is in a great marriage, used to enjoy sex, and just doesn't really like it anymore.  Even my mother and her friends (all in their mid 60's) still talk about it when they are drinking.  One of them married a gay man in her 50's, and she talks about how she deeply misses sex.

I'm not trying to say that there is something wrong with you, but I just don't get what this is about.  Do you like other kinds of physical intimacy?  Or is it all behind you?

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Huh, my friends and I joke about our strategies to avoid our husbands trying to have sex with us. It's not that I hate it, but I don't really crave it but I will go along with it to keep the marriage going. That's interesting that you still crave it, I really think you are in the minority but what do I know[/quote]

Wait, what? How old are you? I can’t even imagine not craving sex with my husband, and we’re in our late 50s, early 60s.

There very well could be something going on with your marriage or your life that’s causing you to want to avoid sex right now. I don’t think it’s normal to feel that way, and none of my friends have ever joked about avoiding sex with their husbands. 
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