Reply to S/O Has demanding sex ever actually worked for anyone?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Demanding is coercive. Hinting is deeply unsexy. Not initiating at all often means no sex at all. Basically nothing works if your wife stops wanting to have sex. [/quote]

I think this is true.  I also think a woman not wanting sex is a sign of a deeper marital problem.  She might feel, in the moment, that she's exhausted from the day's work.  I know I do.  I get up at 5am and it's nonstop serving everyone else but myself until 10 or so at night.  I do not want to have sex then, since it is basically another service to someone else.  My needs are never met.    If I had a better marriage and a husband who cared about my needs in bed, I don't think daily exhaustion would get in the way -- at least not as much.

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Maybe, but I have a great marriage to an attractive husband and....I have no desire for sex. It's 20 years of the same old, not sexy. I am not alone.[/quote]

Woman here, 42, married for 16 years and together for 19, 5 kids.

I don't get this.  I see it on here all of the time, but I don't know anyone IRL who is in a great marriage, used to enjoy sex, and just doesn't really like it anymore.  Even my mother and her friends (all in their mid 60's) still talk about it when they are drinking.  One of them married a gay man in her 50's, and she talks about how she deeply misses sex.

I'm not trying to say that there is something wrong with you, but I just don't get what this is about.  Do you like other kinds of physical intimacy?  Or is it all behind you?

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The sexuality of literally every human being on the planet is different. [/quote]

Of course.  And I am asking about yours.  You put it out there.  I'm just asking what it's like.  Are you just not a very touchy, huggy kind of person, and you are just done with sharing your personal space?  Is it something specific to your husband?   Do you like platonic hugs and kisses with your friends and children, but there is some kind of feeling you have to have that feels "sexy" in order to have sex?  
I'm just curious.  
If you were turned on by paperclips, I would probably want to know about that too :)  [/quote]

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