Reply to Noncustodial Parent Relocation

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Reply to "Noncustodial Parent Relocation - Who Handles Transport?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are two issues - transportation plus the fact that dad is moving so far that the kids won’t be able to do their regular weekend activities. I assume they currently don’t sit around dad’s place all weekend but if one has a soccer game or a meeting with classmates about a group project, he takes them and they return to his place. Same as what happens when they are at mom’s. This could also happen if he moves within the 50 mile radius - it would be more driving for him but doable to not completely interrupt their lives. Which is presumably why the 50 mile radius limitation was put in the agreement for both mom and dad. Disregarding the transportation issue for mom for a moment, it isn’t fair to the kids to ask them to move so far that they will have to cancel games (which is effectively leaving the team) or not being able to work part time on the weekend or meet with classmates for projects or ever see friends bc they will be hanging out with dad and new girlfriend.

Can dad’s girlfriend move in with him? Can dad get a hotel/Airbnb in the kids’ town on custody weekends so life is easier for his kids? Can he wait to move (at least one year) since his kids are so upset about it? If he must move in with girlfriend, can they find a place within the 50 mile radius?[/quote]

OP here again.

When the kids are with ex two weekends a month (during the school year), ex gets them to all weekend activities, correct. That’s obviously going to become very difficult post-move. 16 year old is the most upset about it - wants freedom to spend nights at friends houses in future, which can’t happen if she has to go to ex’s.

The move is happening. Ex has already sold condo and is moving at the end of September. Ex isn’t going to wait.

Ex still refuses to do anything but split driving 50/50, so I guess we are headed to mediation. [/quote]

Your daughter sounds obnoxious.  Her Dad sees her 4 nights a month.  She should not be planning sleep overs with her friends during his time.  She should do it on your time.  If he does everything he is supposed to, including activities you need to support him and say that she she should not plan sleep overs on Dad's 4 nights and there are plenty of other days in the month to do that.  Its not going to be difficult to get them to activities, he just has to drive them.

If he will not transport, let a judge decide.  I wouldn't mediate.  Mediation only works with two reasonable people.  If both sides were reasonable this would have been worked out.  He moved so he needs to transport them.[/quote]

OP here:

I have emphasized to her that I think it’s important for her to maintain relationship with ex, even with this move. I am not trying at all to enable her to not see ex/see ex less. I am just reporting how she feels. Her freedom to come and go, do school events, see friends, even have a part time job has become much more difficult because of ex’s decision. That’s the reality. 14 year old is upset too, but the 16 year old is straight up angry.

FWIW, Ex has the kids 2 weekends/month during the school year because at the time of our divorce, ex used to travel for work 40+ weeks a year and didn’t/couldn’t have the kids more than that. Ex also takes two long summer breaks with them. I’ve always encouraged both kids to make the most of the time they have with ex, even when it isn’t a lot. Ex has never pushed for or wanted more time, even when their job changed and travel slowed down. So please don’t assume I’m someone who tried to give ex as little time as possible.

With all that said, the arrangement has worked fine for 10 years. Obviously this is a big change and I don’t think my 16 year old is obnoxious for being upset.
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