Reply to If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These discussions about teens and dating always make me wonder a little bit about what it is that parents really value and how they think you get there.  If the goal is "no sex for teens" then basically you shouldn't let them out of the house.  If they are getting in cars, going on walks, visiting friends (not just boyfriend's house) the opportunity will be there.  It seems curious to me to put so much emphasis on limits/boundaries that are essentially meaningless in attaining that goal.
So what's the other option - actually I'd like my teens to respect and value themselves enough that they decide when they have sex and that they do it safely and with full consent. I want them educated, I want them confident, and I want them to own this very important part of themselves and treat it with respect.  Everything we know about education and sex is this leads to better outcomes.  But to do that you have to approach sex as a positive thing, not as a scary thing that nobody will talk about and you definitely can't go to your boyfriends house because what if....
Listen people, the average age to have sex for first time is 17. That means LOT of 15 and 16 year olds are getting busy. I'm gonna guess exactly nobody delays having sex because their parents impose arbitrary rules about whose house they can go to.  Have the hard conversations, it's really worth it.
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You don't get it. The Goal is NOT "no sex for teens". It's about boundaries, boundaries for a 15 year old girl.

Too much permissive and uninvolved parenting advice here. [/quote]

NP here.  It's not really an either or, you can do your best to require they are not alone in a house at 15 and encourage open communication about sex.   I did both.  My now 17 year old had a BF when she was 15 and she only visited when partents were there (we texted back and forth and drove them so it was easy to confirm at least until they got their licenses.)  They had sex anyway, I don't know exactly when, but I suspect at a friends house for the first time. They've been dating 2 years now. I don't "permit" them to have sex in the house, but at 17 I don't really care if they are occassionally unsupervised either.  [/quote]

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