Reply to DH working out every night for 2 hours

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks so much for all the thoughtful responses. I was not expecting this much traction. I don’t think he’s cheating. His run times vary a lot, lately it’s just been in the evening but I often force him to get moving earlier in the afternoon to cut back on his prep time (so annoying- it includes doing things like charging his gps phone and just sitting up in his office reading the internet, he’s just kind of a diva when it comes to these things- like why can’t he charge his phone overnight?). When he comes back he either uses the peloton or goes outside to cool down, but these things don’t include the kids. He’s definitely gotten into fantastic shape. Lost 30lbs, has built muscle. I’m very jealous considering I’m feeling like I’m putting on all that weight.

He has also admitted taking seriously long Bathroom breaks (like three times a day for 30-40 mins each) just as a break. I don’t mind him using this time to get mentally and physically healthy, but all these responsibilities that he’s not helping with end up falling to me and I come home so exhausted. I generally do the light cleaning and cook about half the time. He cooks about half the time. But we have other responsibilities outside his work (which is light), that costs us money and he doesn’t seem to have the patience to do (like renting out other properties we own, etc).I end up nagging and being annoyed and I’m sure it is in at least in part me that he needs a break from. But since his work is light, the kids aren’t home, etc, I expect him to do these things. I have such limited time in the day to handle a lot of these things, and yet I still have to figure out things like day cares and camps. He does take them to these things, but the planning it falls on me, the prep work falls to me.  Anyways, he can’t do this 5-6 days a week. It’s too hard on me. I think maybe we need to go back to marriage counseling which helped us a lot to communicate.

Another PP had astutely mentioned communicating with him about these issues. And they were right, it usually ends up me being blindsided by his coming down with his running clothes on after 30 mins of hanging out in his office, and then I lose it and get annoyed. We haven’t been talking about it maturely.  [/quote]

Yeah, I think all this cheating nonsense is ridiculous. I see a lot of similarities to my life. Do you think he has ADD? I’m pretty sure my husband does and we structure our tasks accordingly. He gets the crap I don’t care about, the crap that can wait months  and a lot of the actual physical stuff — like all the laundry. I deal with making sure stuff with a deadline actually gets done. I’m the person that mentioned that we have worked it out so he does this workout stuff that takes two hours during the day most of the time. When he does blindside me showing up In his workout clothes, I would bet I’m about 50/50 on “sure, I know you couldn’t get to this this week” or “no f-Ing way, we have stuff to do that you need to participate in.” But he doesn’t blindside me often.[/quote]

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