Reply to Is it selfish to move abroad for good when you're an only child?

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Is it selfish to move abroad for good when you're an only child?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you feel guilty and are trying to assuage your guilt by blaming others. It was YOUR job to care for your own dad. I have never been in your situation so I can’t judge, but if I were you I would feel very guilty, too. I think you should see a therapist.[/quote]

You say you can't judge but you do sound very judgmental!

Some people on here are deliberately obtuse. Or they really, genuinely can't relate to the situation I was in. Do I really need to make a drawing for you to understand?

I was physically living overseas. Permanently. Married to someone from a country that is not my own. While it was my own decision to move abroad out of my own free will when I was 27, sadly I was unable to split myself in two and live in 2 places at the same time.

The ONLY way I could have been a proper caregiver who did 100%, or the majority of the caregiving myself, without involving relatives, was to move back home, with Dad, until the day he died. Right? But that would have taken 3 years. It was simply never an option.
I would have lost my marriage.

[b]Being an only child - a blessing or a curse? I don't want to be blamed for a decision I made when I was a single 27-year old who wanted to see the world.[/b]

[/quote]
OP.  You made your choices.  27 is not a child.  I, too, am an only child and I have made different life choices.  I know that my parents would have been devastated if I chose to move overseas.  I made career and life choices that kept me within driving distance.  I certainly missed out on "seeing the world" and career opportunities in order to stay close to family.  That was my sacrifice.  Yours was not being able to support a dying parent.  I'm not saying this to place blame, it's just that we all give up something in order to support our priorities...[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics