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[quote=Anonymous]OP I feel for you.  It is a really tough situation.  I'm sorry PPs are piling on against you for a choice you made years ago at a time when I am betting you weren't really thinking too clearly about the long term financial impacts on your daughter.  Could you have/should you have?  Sure.  But that is beside the point.

Today you have 30K to put toward your daughter's education.  Because of what she sees your DH's children getting, she is resentful.  You asked how you might be able to navigate through the situation.  Almost nobody has given you any practical advice and would rather beat you up.

My best advice is to grit your teeth and deal with it as she processes.  Continue to gently remind her when the opportunity to presents itself that she has options, that you will contribute what you can, and that focusing on what other people have gotten won't help anything.  Try to support her.  I agree with other's that in any way saying she is being unkind to your DH's kids will only make the problem worse.  Don't try to get in the middle of those relationships.  Your finances are separate and you said that there is no familial relationship between the kids, so I wouldn't worry about it any more than I would worry if she was comparing herself to other students at her school...[/quote]

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