Reply to Not sure how to handle ghosting au pair

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, You need to get your own child care. It sounds like you’re working full time and taking care of three children. That sounds like a recipe for disaster.[/quote]

Op here. Probably true. Typically we’d have after care for the older child (and will again next fall) but it wasn’t offered this spring. And our daughter actually does fine reading or watching a show for the hour and a half from when we get her home to when I finish my work day. So, while it’s more fun for her to go to the park or play in her friend’s backyard or whatever, this week we’ve just had her home and that’s fine too. She has camps for the summer, but they all end at 3 (again no after care). I’d hoped she could have lots of afternoons with her friend like last summer, but obviously this au pair wants different things, and that’s fine too.

I’m not in DC so I think it’s okay to share that the other challenges were (1) our group didn’t allow anyone inside from the start of the pandemic to when all adults were fully vaccinated. Kids were all in zoom schools. Which means our apartment wasn’t option and (2) the children she watches are twins. My DD is friends with one and her brother usually has another friend at the same time. I thought to reciprocate she expected me to have both the twins. I have no idea while the girls play fairy garden or American dolls or whatever what he’d want to do and it’s easier to keep my DD away from her best friend during the week than to have to host both the twins. The au pair today said even just hosting the one would be helpful. All the other friends my DD plays with also have parents who work so typically a large neighborhood group goes to the park and we take turns watching them. I watched everyone (including twins) for 5 hours at the park this past weekend, but that’s not reciprocating doe the au pair. [/quote]

Op, you remind me of the mother of a friend of my daughter who our nanny hates.  Her daughter comes to our house a lot, and she never reciprocates to have my kid over because she's working from home (I've been working from home too due to COVID, but I have the nanny there, so the kids do play at our place).  She lives very nearby and sends her kid over regularly uninvited, until I finally told her that she couldn't keep sending her kid over without checking with me or my nanny first.   She has three kids and suboptimal childcare and is desperate to get them out of the house, and other moms in the neighborhoods are wary of her offers of play dates, because she will suggest one and once the mom says yes, she will suggest that her kids play at that mom's house. And furthermore, this kid is a bit of a brat (plays rough and makes a fuss about cleaning up after herself when asked), so it creates more work for my nanny having her there.[/quote]

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