Reply to S/o outsourcing cleaning as a relationship fix

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "S/o outsourcing cleaning as a relationship fix"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]As with so many things on this website, so many different things are going on with this advice and the responses.

1) There are vast differences in people's acceptable levels of clean. I have biweekly cleaners and can't imagine touching a bathroom between them. In fact, due to a scheduling error we just had to skip a cleaning and I still am not cleaning the bathroom. And I don't make my bed everyday. I'm sure my house would be intolerable to many of you

2) My husband is fully aware and cognizant of the mental load and he actively tries to take the burden off of me. He doesn't tell me my standards are too high (because they legitimately are not, perhaps they are too low!) and he works to help. He does all the laundry and really works to be someone who like, knows if the kids need more diapers at daycare or if my older kid needs to bring a swimsuit tomorrow for camp. that like, in the weeds stuff, he pays attention! It makes me feel loved and means when I'm cleaning the whole kitchen and vacuuming every night I don't feel resentful, because he's helping!

3) Those biweekly cleaners take the edge off needing to deep clean and it makes BOTH of us happy to have them. When my second child starts K next September, I think we will move them to weekly. It's expensive, but we have busy lives and don't like cleaning or arguing with each other.

So like, reducing the burden of labor helps couples not resent each other. Loving one another and actively trying to reduce each other's burdens makes couples not resent each other. Paying for cleaners when you have a completely inconsiderate husband is, in fact, a bandaid to a larger problem. But if its the only thing wrong then I'm not sure its a terrible solution. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics