Reply to S/o outsourcing cleaning as a relationship fix

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't do your list daily. M-F I do about a load of laundry per day and kids fold if they want TV time, we clean the kitchen after dinner together, and run the dishwasher before bed. DH unloads it in the morning when he gets up. We have cleaners every other week so on the weeks without we do the floors and bathrooms on the weekend, and again, the kids have to help.

If your kids are old enough to have pubes not only can they clean their own bathroom, but they can make their own bed and help with those other chores. You are doing them a disservice for when they move out and suddenly realize that beds do not make themselves, and bathrooms need to be cleaned.[/quote]

Yep. But OP, are you seriously have guests over every few days? That too, guests who would use the kids' bathroom? You just sound very OCD to me.[/quote]

I am one of the PPs - and we don't have guests over every few days. But if I just leave my husband's bathroom - which is always the guest bathroom - for the cleaners once a month, or until we have guests, then it gets so f**king disgusting that I DO want to get a divorce. It's not that I need it SO clean - it's that if you don't do regular cleaning, then it gets SO disgusting. So it's either regular cleaning, or it's a foul cesspool - and I've picked regular cleaning, as the better of those alternatives. Honestly, now that I go in there and clean it myself every few days instead of waiting for him to do it, or for the cleaners to come back, it's not SO awful every time.

OP might be in a similar position. Not enough $ to have cleaners coming every week or multiple times every week. Stuck, then, with the options of doing it herself a lot, or having a bathroom that spirals out of hand.
[/quote]

This is a hugely important point. My DH's problem with cleaning is that he has it built up in his head as something that takes forever and is very hard. That's because as a bachelor, he very rarely cleaned, so when he did, it took forever and was very hard. It is a PITA to get rid of tons of mold in mildew in your bathroom, to clean a rug that hasn't been vacuumed in months, to deal with the grease and dust in a kitchen where you never wipe down surfaces. You have made the problem maximally difficult.

Most house cleaners don't even do a particularly good job. The advantage in having the cleaners come is that they do it regularly. Just clean regularly and it really doesn't take much time. Cleaning something you recently cleaned can take a few minutes. I can clean our guest bathroom in 5 minutes if we suddenly have company coming, because I spend 5-10 minutes cleaning it every week. But I've literally never spent more time than that in there because I don't have to.

A lot of people have partners whose main problem is time management and procrastination, and if they could deal with that, they'd have an easier time with all aspects of their relationship, not just division of labor around cleaning. Putting stuff off is not a good way to approach most things.[/quote]

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