Reply to "Kids are resilient!"

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Reply to ""Kids are resilient!""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you are someone who says this, why do you say it? Do you actually believe it? Or do you say it because you really want it to be true?

To me it makes no sense. Adults who are in therapy are often in therapy for issues stemming from childhood. ACE scores predict things as diverse as diabetes, obesity, education attainment levels, adult salaries, etc. Childhood bullying has been shown to have impacts in adults. From what I see, there is a mountain of data that shows that kids [I] aren't [/I]resilient and that saying that they are is, at best, wishful magical thinking. At worst, the saying is used as a cover for abusive or otherwise awful behavior. It feels like gaslighting to me, a way of diminishing the trauma that children endure.

I'm a parent of teens now, and at this point, if someone uses that phrase, I start to get pretty skeptical of what they are saying. This is just based on my experience, but it made me wonder: why do you say it? [/quote]

Kids are resilient, when you talk about small issues and/or a fairly small number of things.  When every day is a struggle, no, it just leads to problems then or down the road.

A lot of people who say this are willfully blind or trying to convince themselves that they're right.  Frequently there's nothing they can do to really change the situation for the child, and the only thing they can do is teach the child how to handle situations outside of their control.[/quote]

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