Reply to "Kids are resilient!"

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Reply to ""Kids are resilient!""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]This is long but I guess my point is that resilience shouldn't be talked about like its just this easy great quality of kids that we take for granted when we fail them. It is something we should be grateful for, that we should cultivate, that we should support them through learning, because even if they don't end up with ACE scores (god willing) they will experience things that are hard. Their heart will be broken, they will struggle in a class, they will have a friend disappoint them, their child will struggle, and they will need resilience in those moments.[/quote]

I agree with this. Some of the nuance in the use of this word depends on whether you are using in advance of making an adult decision without fair consideration of the needs of a child or whether you are using it after a child has experienced disappointment to cultivate and inspire the type of care and attention that kids need to carry on and thrive despite challenges or difficult circumstances.

Resilience needs to be cultivated. Every child deserves to be put in situations where they can succeed, be safe, and grow. Sometimes, that doesn't happen, which is where resilience comes in. The resilience of children should not be an excuse to make adult decision that are not in the children's best interest. However, building resilience requires that children actually face setbacks and disappointments and persist despite them. To me, being resilient requires emotional awareness and understanding, as well as self-confidence. If you say "kids are resilient" before you move a kid in the middle of high school, you are denying the real problems that will come with that decision. Instead, the response should be, "I know that I'm asking a lot of you with this move. You are going to have to make new friend and get used to a new city. That's going to be hard. I understand why you are angry. Let's think about how we can make this work."  Denying the validity of a child's emotions will not make them more resilient. Acknowledging their emotional need and supporting them through struggles will. [/quote]

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