Reply to Would you be concerned if your DD planned to marry her high school or college sweetheart

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think everyone should work for a few years before getting married. This is the only time in your life when you can spend YOUR money the way YOU want.  If she persists with the engagement track,  I would push her to be independent and move out on her own. Don’t baby her through this time. I guess you should also fill us in —does she have a job, health benefits, a car, etc.[/quote]

+100.   All couples I know who married college or high school ended up divorced or in passionless marriages.  I’m older, and they al seemed to have perfect marriages for the first 10 years.  Most of them changed when the kids started getting older (late elementary school).  I think that’s when things got stale.  There were no more new milestones.  The ones who didn’t divorce stayed together (I think) because they had never been on their own — ever.

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You need to branch out more.  There are plenty of us who married young and are still happy 20 years later.  The last kid leaves the house in a couple years and we have a laundry list of plans, both together and independent of each other.[/quote]

My experience is my experience.  Everyone is offering anecdotal info here.  You don’t like my post, that’s fine.

It’s great it worked out for you, but it doesn’t for a lot of people.  The biggest risk is if OP’s daughter never establishes confidence that she can live on her own.  That leads to people getting stuck.

If I were OP, I’d tel the daughter to live on her own a couple of years.  No rush.  She doesn’t have to break up with the BF.  [/quote]

+1 This thread is slanted heavily toward happy outcomes, which are great, but not the case for a lot of people.  OP, just encourage your daughter to establish herself professionally, financially, and socially as an independent person for at least a few years before she gets married.  It won't hurt a healthy relationship and it would put her on more solid footing to make her own decisions, choices, mistakes before she starts sharing her life with someone else.[/quote]

Multiple relationships with great guys who dd loves and who love her and who want to be with her long term may or may not happen. Lots of people would happily take one[/quote]

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