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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does he work? What does he do?[/quote]

Yes. He's an extremely hard worker. He's a police officer.[/quote]

What type? How many years? So is my H?

Have you read “ I love a cop”?[/quote]

No, I have not read that book. I'll look it up. 
He has 14 years. Right now he's in the community policing unit.[/quote]

Truthfully, when you deal with very important things all day it’s really hard to have banal discussions. Everything seems superficial.[/quote]

I would posit that unintelligent folks are disproportionately drawn to police work, not that police work leaves them too drained to think logically. [/quote]

Well an assumption is not fact and I posit your assumption is a common one. But when you come home from work after seeing the inside on somebody’s brain, it’s really hard to feign interest in “intellectual” discussions.[/quote]

I agree.  As a civilian (attorney) who works with police, I haven't run into many dumb cops.   Locally, in particular, there are cops who are also lawyers, CPAs, even teachers. There are ones who are very skilled in IT work too, especially the ones who do IT forensics to extract info from cell phones, etc.  If they have worked their way up the ranks a bit, they also often have masters degrees.   I know quite a few who are taking language lessons at night, too.  From Spanish to Mandarin to Farsi.

However, the stress is outrageous and critical mental health support is often lacking.   There may be a lot going on there, with a culture that historically doesn't want to admit to issues like depression and anxiety, as well as a severe lack of qualified therapists who actually understand what police work does to people.  A cop could go talk to any run of the mill therapist and just roll their eyes over the person's complete cluelessness of what they face each day.     [/quote]

Most cops do not see the inside of someone’s brain most days. Cops face LOTS of trauma, but it doesn’t help your argument to exaggerate. An officer in the community policing unity particularly shouldn’t be seeing the inside of anyone’s brain. But they do get exposed to a lot of sadness and poverty and grief that they can’t fix, which is traumatizing. And many police officers are practical by nature (they are doers), which could be part of him not enjoying intellectual conversations. The two partners might just be mismatched in that way. [/quote]

It doesn’t help your argument to minimize the trauma they experience.

It’s just facts that “intellectual” conversations after experiencing real life all day seems very banal. OP thinks it’s so interesting and intellectual but you put that next to removing 3 kids from a home because their mom is passed out in a car with them with a needle in her arm ... intellectual... not really.

Also why not allow some self care of watching mindless videos, why judge it?

[/quote]

OP here. Self care is a good perspective. I definitely watch lots of reality tv for mental breaks. We actually watch a few shows together. But these days, that's it. If it's not about the kids and sports sometimes, we have nothing to talk about. And when I try, I feel like he isn't capturing what I'm saying- at all. But as others have said, perfect relationships don't exist.[/quote]

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