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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I see this in my brother's marriage. She is not a critical thinker and during some discussions, he'll roll his eyes. Yet they are happily married.

I don't know if I could do the same, it would be hard for me if I considered my DH dumb. I caution the same to my kids, intelligence should be a high priority in relationships - dumb can't be fixed.

If you could go back in time, would you marry him again?  If yes, try focusing on his good traits, and how he carries his weight in other ways.[/quote]

The reality is that 60 or so years ago, when women had far less access to education, educated men often had less educated wives. Some may have  been very smart I am sure and some probably were not. And the gender roles obviously were rigid so in addition to her often  working to help pay his way through law school or mba (  :roll: ) after he graduated she stayed home and cooked, ran the entire house , raised the children, etc not exactly activities that stimulated intellectual growth at that time,  while he continued to chart his course in his stimulating professional world around other educated people. If such a husband then frequently did eye rolls around how intellectually  limited she was  I think we would all think he was really quite a jerk. Some of our husbands more than pulled their weight working while we advanced professionally and educationally. Mine did, and I have a respect and gratitude for him for it that underlies everything. I am "smarter" in part because he helped me and hopefully I help him. To then fault him for not knowing as much would be pretty cold and terrible. [b]Try not to take your husband for granted Op. If he is so lacking in depth and curiosity that you are dying inside then that's a problem. If this is the result of you both being cloistered together during covid and him getting on your nerves excessively because you have lost your typical access to mental stimulation and you find him a little boring, that is a different thing. Only you can answer that.[/b]
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Thanks for this perspective. I appreciate it.[/quote]

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