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Reply to "Therapeutic Wilderness Schools - Any Insights?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Please just be very careful. These schools are largely unregulated in many states and I imagine you’re aware of the bad practices that have come to light at many therapeutic boarding schools. Also, much like juvie, your kid will be in an environment where he is exposed to kids with more problematic behaviors than his and may decompensate as a result.

Be sure that you’ve exhausted all options in your community first. Therapy, alternative school, etc.[/quote]

You know what makes those of us who have to ask the question about residential treatment and therapeutic wilderness schools crazy?  Those who suggest we avoid them after we've exhausted everything else there is out there to help our kids and then don't offer us alternatives and those who think we've made this decision unthoughtfully.

Parents don't decide to deplete their entire life savings to sent the children that they love more than words can say to an extremely difficult environment to deal with unbelievable painful challenges when there is another alternative.  Those of us that look to this type of program have tried everything.  We've exhausted everything that exists.  And, we are deciding to empty our bank accounts to help our kids which in turn may hurt our other kids so we're in the not-quite-Sophie's-choice of choosing which kid matters more.

Please, stop criticizing us.  If you have something to offer that we might not have thought about, we are all ears.  But just telling us that some of these programs are bad so we shouldn't go this direction is so unhelpful.  If not these type of programs, then what?  Do we let our kids die of an overdose?  Do we let them cut themselves until they bleed out because there are so many cuts that they can't be stitched up?  Do we continue to hope and pray that every night when we come home from work that we don't find our kid dead with a noose around their neck- after we dropped our younger kids off at the neighbor's house while we check to make sure they are actually still alive because we want to find our dead kid first?  Do we let them break their siblings' arms?  Do we push furniture against our bedroom doors when we can no longer stay awake in hopes that we will wake up alive in the morning?  Do we hang ladders out our second story windows in case of an intentionally set fire?  Do you even have a clue as to how bad it can be?  I've just scratched the surface and I bet you cannot imagine the life some of us live.

When we get to the point of looking at sending our kids away for treatment, we are desperate and afraid for our kids and our families.  We know the risks because if we didn't, we might have sent them away earlier.  We also know the cost of not doing it and of doing it.  So, please, if you have something to offer, do so.  But to second guess our decision to move forward or to suggest that we haven't considered some unnamed alternative is hurtful when we are already crumbling under our pain and desperation.  We love our kids and we are only hoping to figure out a way to get them healthy.[/quote]

I’m sure you are doing this because you feel it is your last resort. However, there is no disputing that many “wilderness schools” have been abusive places that harm kids, not help. And also that some parents who use them are themselves abusive/neglectful and are using it to punish kids who are acting out in a dysfunctional family, not due to actual mental health concerns.

My experience of the latter (abusive families/abusive school) was from the 90s so of course things may have changed. Based on the feedback in this post, I now understand that there are boarding schools that are actually therepeutic (have doctors on staff, use conventional evidence based mental health therapies)that are in the wilderness and use the outdoors therepeutically, but are not “bootcamps.”

However the abusive “wilderness therapy” places still exist, as do the families that just want to get rid of their teens or punish/blame them instead of fixing the dysfunctional family with appropriate treatment.

Only you know which camp you are in. [/quote]

You just can’t help yourself can you?[/quote]

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