Reply to Why do some men check out of their kids' lives after divorce?

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Reply to "Why do some men check out of their kids' lives after divorce?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Their wives used to keep them informed and tell them what was going on. After the divorce they didn’t pick up that emotional labor. [/quote]
This is the TL/DR version of the nanny’s long post. It’s very true for me. Before we separated, my husband told our marriage counselor that I handled 99% of the childcare (his words!), but that he was a very involved parent. In what world is someone who only does 1% of the childcare an involved parent? He felt involved because I kept him in the loop about everything. If he knew about the kids’ friends or something their teacher said or what our oldest was embarrassed about or what our youngest was afraid of or who cried or why they fought, it was because I told him. He knew our children through me. Now our kids are older and they don’t want to share anything with him and I don’t speak with him every day, so he knows them less and less well. He doesn’t know how to relate to them as young teens. He still wants to chase and wrestle and tickle them, but they find that off putting at this age.[/quote]

Same here. Agree.

I also agree with the nanny’s examples and how that indeed plays out that way. However, if ego is so big often the Disney Dad phenomena pops up where dad starts throwing money at gifts, day trips, vacations in efforts for attention and admiration from his kids. Same lack of real connection or ability to see the child’s needs, but won’t back down from the check the box time and will try the spoiling approach. [/quote]

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