Reply to Something I don't understand about criticism of big families

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[quote=Anonymous]I got married when I was 32, and I laugh when I remember my grandfather telling me later that year "start with one (kid), but don't be afraid to have nine." I think I told him that I didn't think nine was in the cards for me, even if we started right then. What I didn't tell him was that he was not a good spokesperson for having a big family, considering he left my grandmother for another woman after they had raised nine kids together. However, in fairness, grandpa would likely have been an asshat to grandma regardless of if they had 2 or 20 kids.

My dad was the oldest of the nine, and while there were some issues related to he and the oldest daughter being responsible for a lot of the child rearing, and one of the middle kids wound up feeling bullied, all the siblings grew up more or less normal and happy. 6 got married and had kids (most anyone had was four, and the only ones that had more than two were ones that didn't get a boy and girl on the first tries).  The stories from their childhood are hysterical-the time uncle x borrowed uncle y's car to take uncle y's girlfriend out in a date, and then got in an accident; how my grandfather used to throw bread products at the dinner table to keep order; how my grandmother used to spend her evenings listening to the police scanner to find out if anyone got into trouble. Now my moms family is decidedly more toxic, go figure, and there were only four of them.

I'm one of two kids, and my husband is one of five. Having a giant family neither really appeals to me, or was ever in the cards for us. I am rocking our second and likely last baby as I type. Maybe if we had gotten started earlier, we'd've had another, but who knows. In any case, big families just don't seem that strange to me, nor do families without kids or folks that stay single etc. I just can't work up the energy to get so flipping angry about other peoples families. [/quote]

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