Reply to Why do some men check out of their kids' lives after divorce?

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Reply to "Why do some men check out of their kids' lives after divorce?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because the Mom makes it so difficult on him and causes so much drama. She engages in parental alienation to turn the kid against him anyway and he’s just fighting a losing battle until he finally gives up. [/quote]

This, my husband's ex lied every chance she got to the kids saying how Dad destroyed the marriage.  In all reality she cheated, took the kids cross country to live with the AP who moved out there and denied Dad his visits.  Dad made plane reservations each and every schedule visit and she'd refuse to send the kids and often cashed out the tickets (not sure how the airlines allowed it given it was paid for by him) so he couldn't use them the next visit (she was supposed to pay 1/2 but never did).  He'd fly out and she'd refuse to let the kids see him.   He went to court multiple times and the judge just fussed at her, gave him make up visits and visits while he was there, that she still denied, rinse and repeat.  Eventually when the youngest was a teen, he gave up and said if you want to visit, I'll buy the ticket.  He only heard from them when they wanted extra money.  Dad finally had enough and said I'll buy you want you need vs. sending money.  Send me a list of wants, needs, brand preferences (or even the exact clothing and shoes) and I'll ship them to the house.  And, give me the information for sports and activities and I'll pay directly.  They refused to send any information and only demanded money.  Dad would still regularly send clothing and other stuff and kids said they never got it despite delivery confirmation.  Mom got child support, alimony and Dad provided health care and dental care.  What more could Dad do if he would show up and she refused to allow him to see the kid/s when he flew out or he bought plane tickets and she refused to send them.  All three kids have their relationship challenges now.[/quote]

Do you actually think you have an unbiased view of things. Your husband sounds like a bit of a control freak. He should have put up with the discomfort to show he loved them (which is independent of money, though of course he had a fiscal responsibility to them as well.)

Their mother might have been messed up, I believe you. But that is even more reason for him to stay involved...rather than "give up" because it makes his life easier. Poor children.[/quote]

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