Reply to Separated soon to be ex H is moving in with AP... DS has never met her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I have been separated (in-house) for over 6 months now due to infidelity on his part. He announced to me last night that he plans to move into AP's house before the end of the month and expects to have our DS (9) overnight there with him during his every other weekend time. Problem is, DS doesn't know AP exists and thinks we split up bc "we just couldn't get along anymore." I have been advised that I can't do much to stop this scenario, so I'm asking for tips on how to handle the situation in the best way to help my DS through it. I am sick thinking of DS having to share space with a perfect stranger, in her house, in another town.

Has anyone BTDT? [/quote]

I know some people write no opposite sex partners sleeping over when you have the kids into their separation agreements. Do you have a separation agreement?

Because if you don't have something you both agreed to in writing I would tell this jerk to pound sand. Your son isn't sleeping over and being exposed to your ex's $h!tshow.[/quote]

Even if son doesn't sleep over he's still exposed.  Why give Dad a free pass and take away parenting from him?  He still is a parent and needs to do it 50% of the time?  Sheltering the kid from it is only going to make it worse, not better.[/quote]

Dad has already bailed on 50/50 and now wants the son to go sleep at a stranger's house. I can't imagine telling my 9 year old they have to do that. I'd hold my ground until dad at least came up with an agreement that eases the kid into this. Obviously you can't stop it forever but the father is making a choice to leave. Doesn't mean the mom and kid have to subject to his every whim.[/quote]

You realize you and your husband at one point were strangers.  You don't get to say he loses custody and if he went to court, you could lose given you are withholding the child.   Once you separate, regardless of the reason, you don't get to dictate things.[/quote]

I don't think so. The situation here is the father is leaving the family home to move in with another woman. I am not suggesting the OP can cut off all contact with the father, but she also very much has the upper hand in this situation. If he leaves without a separation agreement then all bets are off.[/quote]

No, she doesn't necessarily and a judge may not be happy if she cuts off ties or contact.  And, you hurt the child.  Why would you do that to your child?  Tell him if he had time for an affair, he has time to share custody.  You don't let him bail.  Regardless of if you like or not, the AP is there to stay (till he cheats on her).[/quote]

Are you able to read?

No one is suggesting the mother cut off contact between the father and child except you. But there's a lot of space between no contact and overnights at Dad's girlfriend's house after Dad has just moved out of the family home.

I would not make my 9 year old son spend the night at a stranger's house just because my husband started banging said stranger.[/quote]

+1, but I smell angry dad troll nearby. He and SMG are always lurking.[/quote]

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