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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anecdotally, big rings seem to reflect one of these scenarios:

- GF demands material expensive possessions. Of my friends who got expensive rings because their GFs pushed for it, this ugly beast continued to rear its head through their marriage, with now-wife expecting cars, homes, vacations etc at the top of their budget. I've also seen it destroy marriages - and literally the first sign was an expensive ring.
- BF is financially OCD and controlling about family image. Extreme perfectionist who spends 1000s of hours researching the perfect ring, the perfect car, the perfect vacation. They have extremely rigid ideas about how to spend money and how to project to others their own perfection. This can also impact marriage down the road - his job is the family priority, he wants to project how financially awesome he's doing and puts tons of pressure on DW to quit and have more babies. I've seen this almost ruin a couple marriages.
- GF or BF is financially illiterate/irresponsible. And doesn't understand how this impacts lifetime savings. You say you have good savings/no debt. I find the typical 35 year old single guy who says that means they have a decent 6-figure income and $200k in savings and $200k in 401k.  This doesn't mean you have "good savings" that you should spend on a ring. It means you have borderline appropriate savings for retirement or in case you lose a job or want to buy a house. [/quote]

In my circle (professional grad school) most of the wives also make 6 figures. A ring may cost $20k but you’re also combining incomes / retirements / earning potential. [/quote]

I'm the PP you're responding to, and me and DH both make a lot more than that. I'm not sure what your point is.  Spending dumb money on a  ring is still spending dumb money on a  ring.  [/quote]

Responding to your last comment. You’re looking at it from a retirement perspective of $200k in 401k and $200k in savings for a single person - marrying someone making six figures with their own healthy retirement accounts means $20k isn’t that big of a dent in the long run. I highly doubt you and your DH both make a lot more than 6 figures and only know people who fit into one of the three above scenario.[/quote]

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