Reply to Lonely, Empty Marriage After Dead MIL

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Living separate lives never gets better, only more distant. I’m flummoxed you wouldn’t divorce in this situation. Surely it’s better for your children to grown up with a loving relationship modeled for them.[/quote]
OP here. One additional factor weighing against divorce for me is that while we're together, I get to regulate who is around my children. DH's family is so trashy, hateful, racist and DH is so weak and ineffectual that he has and will continue to stand by while those animals are racist towards my children. Short of fighting him for full custody, which is not guaranteed, divorcing him would just mean my kids are exposed to his family with no one to protect them. I don't want to save myself at their expense.[/quote]

NP here.  I am so relating to this, as I stay with my DH for similar reasons...and the parallels go al the way to meeting a divorce attorney in feb 2020, too.  I am not of a different race, but my main source of disgust and horror is the racism that was unleashed during the Trump era...and the main reason I stay is he cause I know that he self regulates around me.  So he will never say the n-word around our kid, never cross that line, because he knows I will be gone that money.  But if I leave him, I will be the enemy, and he will feel free to let his misogyny and racism be expressed at full volume.  In fact it will likely be his mission to expose our son as much as possible to it, for amusement.  To get my goat.

So that’s why I justify staying.  But as I read your post I also want to scream for you to get out so your kids don’t see you compromising like this.  So they don’t see you living this half life.  So they see your strength.  I can see it more clearly in your story than my own.[/quote]

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