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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why should this girl open up to you? I also tell my MIL that life is fine. I’ve never once told her about my past- sexual assault. My husband doesn’t even know the extent. Not his business. I would be pissed if he told his mom and then she was judging me for not telling HER about it. Get out of their relationship. [/quote]

This is off-topic but I feel the exact same about my sexual assault. I have discussed it with a therapist and in a survivor’s group. It happened well before I met my husband. I have friends who think it’s weird I don’t tell DH but I just can’t see what the point would be. It’s nice having the central relationship in my life not prominently feature this crappy thing that happened a long time ago.

Hmm, maybe this is on topic after all.

I was so busy being mad at OP I forgot to be mad at the cousin who disclosed all this stuff about the fiancée without her permission. Gross.[/quote]

+1 Same here
I had an incident of sexual assault in my teens. I genuinely did not realize how much it impacted me until well into my thirties and after having a kid. At which time I started to process it in therapy. Even then, I did not go to therapy for this incident. I went for a health issue. Of course as is often the case with trauma and past stuff this incident came up in therapy in a sideways manner.

Trauma/a difficult past is hard stuff to process. The individuals privacy must be honored not just because that is their right, but also because that is the nature of processing. It is not any other persons right to intrude and dictate what should be brought up unless the individual is specifically asking you for input.

The OP is way overstepping and also too assured of her own perspective. Please step back into your lane OP. This would be an ignorant mistake to make to butt in. You know what you know now and maybe you should consider being forthcoming about it. You could tell her straight up that you came by this information and didn’t want to hide from her that you had heard this. Because that would create a new secret in itself. But to make meaning of it, to allow this to mean that you cannot trust her or that she is withholding from you is too much. That is your own defense mechanism and fear. You have NO IDEA why she has not shared such info with you, including the fact that she might not even agree with that narrative. It is never your place to MAKE MEANING of someone else’s life. [/quote]

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