Reply to Does SAHM make a difference during infant years?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the tipping point for me was that a child develops a primary attachment, and if a nanny was going to be with my child for 7-8 of their waking hours and I would get 2-4 of those waking hours, the baby would be more attached to the nanny. Then, when the inevitable time comes to let your nanny go, your child has lost a huge part of their family. That's traumatic if you have a good nanny, and if you don't then that's traumatic in its own way. Sure, they may not remember consciously, but their body does.

Also, I guess part of it was having a balanced and relaxed life. I don't understand the point of doing anything if you're not enjoying yourself. With one parent home (would've just as easily been DH but he made 1.5x my salary) your life is just so very relaxed and low stress. That's the point! Have fun![/quote]

So not true regarding nannies.  I was raised with a wonderful nanny who stayed in my life after she stopped working for my parents and my brother and I spoke at her funeral.  My primary attachment was still with my parents.

My kids also have a brilliant, loving nanny who sees her former charges so I know she’ll see my kids once she moves on unemployment.  And my kids are very bonded with DH and me.  There is no confusion at all.  [/quote]

I think the key here is that you (and your kids) were able to maintain a relationship with your respective nannies, so that eased the trauma of separation. That’s not always possible (nanny moves away, nanny might not be as interested in keeping in touch etc) and that might be when attachment issues follow. [/quote]

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