Reply to Husband won’t get a vasectomy

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Husband won’t get a vasectomy "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband and I are at an odds with him getting a vasectomy. We have two beautiful kids and I’m done. I’ve always said I wanted 2-3 kids but two is perfect for us. There are a lot of reasons I think staying at two kids makes sense - age, career, time, etc. I’m 38 and it’s really hard balancing work with equal time for both kids. My husband is very involved and we split most things 50/50. He’s a great father. He wants to leave the door open to a third but I know a third child is not an option. I want him to get a vasectomy but he wants to wait another 1-2 years until I’m sure. He hates using protection and I don’t like being on BC. I don’t really know how to come to an agreement on this. [/quote]

Hmmm. This is very different than most "my husband won't get a vasectomy" posts because HE is not confident he doesn't want a third child - it's not just like fear of the procedure. I do not think it's fair to push him to give up his fertility when he thinks he might want another child, even if you're sure. I mean, asking, fine, but I would not push this right now.

I think if I were you, I would probably get something really effective and give him a couple of years before bringing it up again. Maybe like a non-hormonal IUD (isn't that a thing?) Seems worth a conversation with your OB/GYN about options - there are niche birth control options that aren't very popular that might be a good fit for you - like maybe a diaphragm?

I also think, particularly if you have to go with something that doesn't have a super high efficacy, it's very reasonable to say he has to wear a condom then.

Additionally - it's worth a conversation about what you would do if you became pregnant unexpectedly. If the answer is that you would have an abortion, I think that's worth disclosing now. If you wouldn't, a discussion about the fact that you might end up really resentful of him in that situation might also be reasonable. [/quote]

I'm not catholic, but wouldn't a vasectomy be contraception and thus, contrary to catholic beliefs?  Serious question.
OP here. We have been using the pull outs method which has worked up until recently when I decided I only wanted two kids. We are Catholics and I don’t think abortion is right for me. We would have a third, which is why I want to take every precaution not to get pregnant. [/quote][/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics