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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]wow, reading this thread was disheartening. I am in my 50s and I have never being drunk in my life, not even as a teenager. I also tend to be on my high horse but in this case I am appalled by the posters bashing the alcoholic guy "because it is a choice". I understand that alcoholism, like other addictions, wreck havoc on people and their families and that after dealing with an addicted person for years family members may have enough or just have to recognize that there is little they can do, so I would not blame OP's  DH if, in the specific circumstances of his case, he decided not to go because he recognized there was nothing he could do and so on. but reading the coldness of OP was almost frightening (OP you say that your own family would know better than involving you in their problems and frankly I can see why, just hope that if one day you end up being the one needing help you will find people better then you). and so many posters insisting that alcoholism is totally a choice and thus a weakness of the alcoholic, who can stop cold turkey if he only decides it. [/quote]

OP is only considered cold because she’s a woman. If she were a guy, posters would be describing him as reasonable. [/quote]

Flip the scrip. What if OP was SIL asking her husband’s brother for help, and his wife was not allowing him to go? Because that’s what’s going on.

The issue here is that brother is an alcoholic, which DCUM a has as much  disdain for as OW.

The interesting thing is that as usual, half the threads are whining about a lack of help /support from family with things like babysitting, etc. So.. you’re supposed to babysit r family, but not help family members in a crisis?

And yea, alcoholism destroys families, but probably not as much as self centerdness does. [/quote]

Alcoholics are self-centered. Unless you have the misfortune of dealing with a family member who is one, you know NOTHING about why family members need to protect themselves emotionally and financially from the self-destructive alcoholic member. This isn't a crisis. By now, the BIL has probably sobered up and sworn that he'll never drink again. But chances are, his wife will be finding empty bottles of vodka all over the house next month. She can choose to divorce or not but she shouldn't be harrassing OP and her DH to fly during a pandemic.[/quote]

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