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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have not been in your shoes, OP, but I think that the question you are asking is what to do, how did people recover, should you, etc. I think the really hard thing about what has happened in your marriage is that it has taken away the certainty, everything is on the table now. As much as you probably want an answer, a sign, someone or smething to tell you what to do, to save yourself more heartache, I am afraid there is no clear simple immediate answer. And that's what sucks--you didn't bring this on, but you have to go through it to figure out what to do next. No one can really tell you because each marriage and situation is unique. Lots of people will pronounce things about stuff they would "never" tolerate or do, but life is much more nuanced, as are people, and your life and reality is unique.

That being said, I think that you really dont have to decide now--you dont have to commit to the marriage or a divorce or anything. You have the right to space and time to process and if your husband can't handle that, you probably have your answer. If he's willing to live with the uncertainty while you work through things, then you have an opportunity to decide what you really want to do. Either way, you will be okay and by going through this, you will also know that you've done whatever you could and that the decision you ultimately make will be the right one for you.

I hope you feel better and have a good support group. I'm very sorry. [/quote]

Wise words.[/quote]

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