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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Being a working parent (during non-pandemic times) - is it as bad as it seems?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not easy, but it's doable. Few key things, at least for me: 1) Sleep train right at 4 months. The miserable parents I knew were still getting up multiple times a night (!!) with their 18 month olds (!!) Four months is bad enough. 2) Equal partner. Truly, equal. Not "does his half when you remind him but you have to keep track of everything" 3) Short commute. Ours is 35 mins, and that's as high as I would go. 4) Actually work 40 hours a week. Both of you. Working a late night once every week or two when you're childless, just because something came up, or because you weren't all that productive during the day, is no big deal. When you have a kid, it's a PITA. I would say an occasional hour or two of work after hours can be okay IF it's flexible, and you can do it after the baby goes to bed. 5) Parental leave. Both my husband and I have 12 weeks of leave (each), and the majority is paid. We took every last day. Two weeks together at the beginning, then 10 weeks just me, then 10 weeks just him. That way, by the time kid is off to childcare, he's also sleep trained (see point 1) and you're both getting full nights of sleep. With all that? We are loving parenthood and planning for a large family![/quote] All of this especially the sleep training. After your kid is four months old, it’s truly your choice if absent illness or a rare event, you aren’t getting a decent nights sleep. [/quote] The sleep training thing is such BS. Infant sleep depends on a million factors. My kid performed all the motions of a good sleeper - took to her crib/room immediately, didn't need to be rocked/held to sleep - but she did not stay asleep all night until she was a year+ old. Every developmental milestone messed with her sleeping, and she was a light napper. Sometimes there's nothing you can do. LOL at "planning for a large family" b/c odds are at least one of your children won't sleep.[/quote] Yes, you can absolutely stay up all night for your bad sleeper if that’s what you enjoy doing. OP asked for how to not be miserable and PP was providing examples. One way to make your life better and enjoy parenting is to not get up throughout the night once it isn’t necessary. If you want to be miserable then you should definitely stay awake like you did and also quit your job while you’re at it! [/quote]
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