Reply to Daughter was assaulted. Help me support her please.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have read some but not all the replies here.  OP if you're still reading, one very very important thing you could do for her from afar is a few steps:

1. Read up yourself or call a local abuse hotline and educate yourself on the patterns she should watch out for.  I say this because whenever I counsel teens (or any age really) on moving on from an abusive BF/GF, one thing I always warn them of is the "Honeymoon stage" where the BF or exBF is ALL wonderful and apologetic and makes a ton of promises about how it'll never happen again.  All of that.

It's so important to be supportive of her healing with this, and maybe aware of the patterns that often happen so you can help her understand the bigger context of the power dynamics and if she knows what to expect, maybe when it happens she won't be as trusting or fall for it as much.

2. [b][u]I didn't read on so I don't know how serious the assault was[/u][/b], what counseling (if any) she's received since it happened, or the status of her relationshp to the BF.  But whatever is happening now, check in with her regularly.  Maybe not always about the trauma itself, but how she's doing. Ask her what is making her feel good these days.  What she worries about if anything.  What would be most helpful to her.  Aks questions like that and listen for clues to what she may need or be struggling with, then try to connect her to supports (what supports really depends on what she's struggling with).

3. I really like whoever suggested you do visit, whatever it takes to spend a day or a couple of days with her and not saying you should focus it all on her bad experience.  Just be there, just tell her you want to see her and support her and would love to just hang out.  Of course check in on the specific situation and how she's doing at some point, but also just hang out, period.  Just be there, connect with her, check in on how other parts of her life are too.

I hope she's ok and I hope you find ways to build on the good initial steps you took in trying to support her.  Good luck, please do post an update at some point![/quote]

CORRECTION: Just re-read original post, it's clear it was a sexual assault and that is of course very serious, so sorry for saying I didn't know if it was serious or not.  It's very serious.  Still would give the same advice above but wanted to honor the seriousness.[/quote]

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