Reply to Why would a dad not get 50/50 custody?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think sleeping arrangements has much to do with being the primary parent. "Primary parent" means the parent that does most of the childcare. Since the mom works at the school and the dad doesn't get home until 6, I imagine she is indeed the primary parent.

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Oh, and when there are custody disputes, judges try to disturb the kids' lives as little as possible. If they were to live with the dad [b]they would be without one of their parents until 6PM every night[/b]. That could be why.

But sometimes judges are kind of old school and think moms are better caretakers. Only every other weekend seems like not a lot of dad time to me. It's hard to say based on the facts here.

Somebody mentioned an AP. Family courts don't always count affairs against a parent in terms of custody. You can be a bad spouse but a good parent. [/quote]

Many families with two working parents don't see their kids until 6 PM during the week.  Our aftercare is open until 6:30.  Pre-covid, I would usually pick up between 6 and 6:15 and there were plenty of kids still there.

I find it hard to believe that would be held against a parent.[/quote]

It’s not being held against him as a judgment of his parenting. It would just be a factor in how much it would disrupt the kids lives if they were to live with their dad. [/quote]

[b]What I am saying[/b] is that I don't think that constitutes a "disruption" to their lives, at least not to warrant a deviation from 50-50 custody.  
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That isn’t what you said at all, and too really don’t know how much of a disruption it would be because we don’t know the details of the kids lives. But generally, if there is a parent who is the primary parent (does more of the school/daycare pickups and drop offs, does the driving to extracurriculars, goes to the parent teacher conferences, and generally is caring for the kids for more hours in the day), it can be expected that the kids will continue to spend most of their time with the primary parent.

Time with kids is not a marital asset. Splitting it isn’t a judgment on the parents, it’s a judgment on what will make the divorce easiest for the kids. That’s the idea at least. [/quote]

What I [b]am[/b] saying.  Not what I [b]did[/b] say.   I was elaborating on my original post and responding to yours.

You right, we don't know the details, therefore your assumptions about who has been doing what may be off-based.

And while best interest of the kids is generally the standard, your wrong to think they look at it purely in those sort of transactional terms and place incredible weight on who was doing certain (especially logistical things) during the marriage.  As part of the divorce, all of those involved will have to make changes and the fact that the parties during a marriage decided that certain things like pickup/drop-off were divided one way during the marriage means it will stay that way.  It is not necessarily "easier" (accepting your formulation) for the kids to deal with a divorce because the same parent attends parent teacher or not.

In a situation where the dad has been involved actively in their kids lives (and that can very much be the case even if the mom handled more of the logistics) and isn't disqualified for other reasons, there will be a general assumption that the best interest of the children will be met by keeping the dad very actively involved in their lives, which usually means beyond simply every other weekend.[/quote]

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