Reply to Husband sent private emails to a friend about our relationship

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Husband sent private emails to a friend about our relationship"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If he had told his friend what you said rather than forwarding the emails, would you be less upset?  I’m having a hard time figuring out if the thing that’s upsetting you is that he forwarded your emails, or if you’re more generally upset that he confided in a friend without first telling you he was going to do so, and the emails are just an example of that.[/quote]

Yes, I would  be less upset. I even expected it. It's the details and him using my emails without my permission and then not disclosing any of this that is upsetting me. Also the lack of responding to the emails to me either in person, by email, or with the therapist but instead just having some sidebar conversation with his friend like a form of gossip.[/quote]

If we were friends sitting together chatting about this, I would have a lot more questions before offering up a theory.  This medium isn’t as conducive to that kind of back and forth, so I’m going to throw out my gut reaction, which may or may not be right.  It seems like what’s really going on here is that you don’t feel like he’s putting it real work in therapy to fix your marriage, that for all of the effort you’re putting in to opening up to him and trying to discuss things, he’s largely shutting down and not responding to you.  Instead, he’s confiding in this friend in a way that fosters a kind of emotional (although not necessarily sexual) intimacy that’s lacking in your marriage, while making little to no effort to foster that kind of intimacy in your own marriage.  Compounding this is that your husband has cheated on you with a man before, so you can’t dismiss this idea that his emotional intimacy with this friend isn’t part of (or won’t lead to) a sexual intimacy that further threatens your marriage.[/quote]

Bingo. Exactly.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics