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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Finding the birth mother in a closed adoption from Eastern Europe"
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[quote=Anonymous]For every birth mother like the one above who wants nothing to do with her birth child, there’s a story like mine where the birth family is ecstatic to be reunited. Do you not search because you’re afraid of ruining someone’s life or do you search because you could gain what you had lost? When I searched, the search agencies had ways of contacting the birth mother only so that her family/husband would never know if she didn’t want them to. OP, I’d stop posting or reading here and tell your daughter to find her way to sites that are adoptee-focused and have experience with the adoption triad. I’d research as best I could what the conditions were like during that time and talk to other adoptees about how they decided to search or not search. Then I’d get counseling before I proceeded. I will say that my own adoption story is nothing at all what the typical adoption stories are/were.[/quote]
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