Reply to DH doesn't want to do skin to skin after baby's born.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Yes it's a thing. that dads do , shouldn't that be obvious due to it being something he's declinign?

Honestly, this is just another thing that he's been resistant to about the baby.  He didn't want to read any pregnancy or parenting books. He did finally look at some websites.  He didn't see the need to set up a nursery. I did most of the selection for the registry. The research on  cribs, nursery colors, car seats, feeding,  etc.

The thing is he swears he's always wanted, kids. Cried when he found we were expecting, called everyone.

She's  supposed to be here in less than a week and he's all non chalant about it and now the no skin to skin thing is bugging me
[/quote]

Ahhh. This is the real problem. Skin to skin or not, whatever, its fine. But it sounds like you've doing everything to prepare for this baby, and he is doing nothing and THAT is a problem. And don't rely on people who say "oh, well, he'll be different when the baby is born." That is not a guarantee!! There are literally hundreds of posts on this site about father's not holding up their share of housework, household management and childcare. I believe strongly that you should address this now.

First - separate out the "wants" and the "needs" - nursery setup/design/colors - that's just fun stuff that has no bearing on your baby. But research on car seats? Strollers? Other stuff? Setting up the registry? Reading books about parenting? To me, those are all things that should be done, and you got stuck holding the bag. That's what I would focus my attention on. Sample script (adjust to fit your voice):

"Hey - I've been really upset about the skin-to-skin thing, and I've realized upon further thought, that what's really bothering me is that it seems like I'm doing all the work to prepare for this baby, and you've done none. I researched strollers and car seats. I read books about pregnancy to make sure I would be giving our baby the best start. I setup the registry. I've been handling all the thank you notes. I've been getting the nursery organized. I'm reading parenting books. And, unless there's stuff I'm missing, you haven't done anything. I think this sets us up on the wrong path. I want to be equal partners and equal parents."

Then, give him a chance to talk. Listen. See what he says. If he's amenable, maybe parcel out some of the other stuff that needs to be done over the next year (before baby turns 1). Presumably you need to research, select, and enroll in childcare. You need to introduce solid foods and wean baby. You'll need to find a pediatrician, make a million appointments, and get to them. You'll need to figure out if/how you're going to sleep train and implement that. Make a list, of these broad categories, and see if you can get him to "own" a few of them. Ex: My husband handled the nanny search and payroll, and handles all baby food (outside of milk) and weaning. I only think about these things when he brings something to me with a question or decision that he wants my input on. See if you can find some areas to step away from.

Maybe I'm just projecting (because if it really is the skin to skin thing, you are being silly) but it seems like under this, you've got a very valid complaint that should be addressed NOW.

[/quote]
You sound just like the pp who got her 3-year-old to freak out about the fire Santa truck parade! Long-winded, incoherent, focused on nothing of importance, and self-absorbed. You imagine yourself a wellness therapist? LOL! Of course, your DH handles almost everything. You are focused on "reading" about things and can't DO things. Incompetent. While you are reading parenting books he is doing the parenting![/quote]

This is the PP. W.O.W. Looks like I struck a nerve![/quote]
Don't flatter yourself. Though, you clearly can't help it out. You are one of those that thinks she sh*ts gold out of her rear.[/quote]

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