Reply to Any way to send a family newsletter in our Christmas card without sounding like jerks?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP if you are an MD and DH is a PHD and your family member is making things up why feel a need to combat it at all?  My mother is delusional so I know what I’m talking about here- live your life without any consideration for what this person is saying.  You are not the only person they are making up stories about.  Write a family letter ONLY if YOU WANT to.[/quote]

+1  I actually like getting the newsletters but you should realize that if you're a Ph.D./MD family with young kids people already know that the family crackpot is talking nonsense when she says you're a drug addict that she supports financially.  There's nothing to combat on that front so I'd just try to forget it entirely.[/quote]

Op here. You would think that but there are many people in the family who are definitely unsure of what to believe and sort of believe that I am a crazy mean abusive mentally ill person. In my case it’s my mother who is the family member spreading the rumors, she’s been doing it for many years, she’s rich, charming, and charismatic and even if people don’t literally believe I’m in prison, I think they think where there’s smoke there’s fire. I’ve been ostracized from 3/4ths of the family because of her lies. It’s a campaign that has spanned over a decade on her part and predated my marriage, education, career, etc. I think it was easy to believe when I was in my early 20s. I’m in my mid 30s now but don’t have a lot of contact with most of the family so I don’t think they really know much about my life. [/quote]

OP I am the first pp and my mother also has delusional disorder and has also irreparably harmed my relationship with much of my family, in her own way.  My own mother is highly intelligent and manipulative and sows destruction wherever she goes, and is very threatened by any relationships I have with other people so she tries to destroy them.  And she has enablers.  Honestly, I have mixed feelings about this and I just want you to know other people are in your boat.  In a way, it is healthy that you want to rebuild these relationships with your family outside of your mother’s influence.  On the other hand, you are spending all this time and energy reacting to your mother’s habit of destroying relationships.  Haven’t you spent enough time on that?  I have.  I think this is a problem that requires discussion with a therapist, not a family Christmas letter, honestly.  I don’t have any advice, just commiseration.[/quote]

OP First I love Christmas letters and those who go to the trouble to write them. 
Second : my family has been doing this for YEARS that is spreading rumors that I’m mentally ill/ drug user/ Et etc. And that my DH is a criminal who faked his resume .... lol he works for a place that investigates resumes like hawks and follows EVERY lead and I have passed so many mental fitness tests in my line of work. It’s just so stressful to have that coming from the family. I think they are just jealous but it’s very hurtful. I’m sorry you are going through this. [/quote]

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