Reply to Losing minds with 4.5 y.o. potty training

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[quote=Anonymous]I don't know why potty training is the trigger for this more than almost any other subject on these boards, but there are so many parents who will respond to someone saying, "I am really struggling with this thing many parents struggle with and need support advice" by getting SUPER mean and condescending and smug. As though anyone wants to have a 4 yr old in pull ups. Or like people just go straight to ask the internet for advice before trying... every other possible solution they can find.

Like there are still people on page 7 and 8 of this thread saying things like "Have you tried running water while your son is at the potty? That might trick him into peeing!" Girl, that's not the problem! Pay attention! OP needs real help. Not to be told she's a bad mom (she's not, but I'm sure she already feels like one). Not to be told that 4.5 is really late to still be in pull ups (she obviously knows that). Not to be told that all this would have been easier if her child was already potty trained (duh).

No one who successfully potty trained their child before the age of 3 should even be weighing in on this thread. The question here is: I have a 4.5 year old who knows how to use the potty but refuses to do so at home -- I need advice or referrals for this specific problem. The responses should just be from people who have dealt with similar issues with older toddlers and pre-schoolers who were hard to potty train. None of the other people know anything. They just want to feel superior for a minute.

Anyway, OP -- I do think going cold turkey on pull ups is the way to go here, since it's clear that it's a stubbornness issue and not a physical problem or not understanding the mechanics. But I would wait until you can devote 4-5 consecutive days to it and I would figure out a way for you and your husband to approach it with as much positivity and empathy as possible. I don't agree with these suggestions to be emotionless or not reward him for using the potty. I think you need to reset the family dynamics around him using the potty towards positive and patience. Make it a family affair, plan some really fun at-home activities (forts, movies, baking, etc.). Then get rid of the pull ups. When there are accidents, explain it's okay. Relate stories of you and your husband having accidents when you were learning to use the potty. Clean up together and then put on fresh underwear and move on. It will be painful at first but I think you will turn a corner by day 3 and never look back.

Good luck! I get it.[/quote]

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