Reply to S/O maximum number of kids to ensure dual working couple

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - the best answer is that it depends on what you want most out of life. Also, how well you know yourself and DH and your capabilities and disposition. We both work FT and have 3 (but I would have loved to have more). Yes, it is busy but we enjoy that. DH helps with everything which is key.

For what it is worth we are at a Catholic school and so see many families of 3, 4, and even a few 5+. Most have 2 working parents and most of the volunteers (room parent, coaches, etc) come from working moms/dads. Few SAHMs.

Day care/nanny - whether you have 1 or more someone is going to need to watch DC until school age. Having 1 means less $ and for fewer years than if you need this help spanning 3 DC all 2 years apart). We found that a nanny was less expensive for 3 than most daycares would have been. We were also always able to find an awesome college-aged student to help for after school hours when we needed 1) transportation and 2) 3-5 hours help versus the full time nanny.

Time - Yes, you will have more time to spend with only 1 or 2 DC but as I always remind DC, I gave them the gift of more siblings. So perhaps a little less 1 on 1 time for DC, but more people in their lives also. This can be seen as a +1 or a -1 depending on relationship between siblings. 
The time/$ factor also depends on how many activities you want (or DC want) to be involved in as they get older and, of course, where you want them to go to school.

Education - We were able to support parochial education for all 3, but $20-40,000 for HS (and then college) will be a stretch. We would not have been able to afford a $40,000 private for 12+ years. I did not even think of this prior to about 6th grade but private education is a financial burden, albeit choice.

Activities - even with just 3 DC, when all are very active you will learn to love the word 'carpool'. I do plan some of DC activities with other family friends because we can more easily carpool. Not something you can plan on at the age of 2 or 3, but this make life work and work well in the lives of active ES - HS kids and their families. This is one of the things that some families do really well and I was envious of them when our kids first started with sports, dance, etc. Learn early to cultivate relationships for carpooling and you will be all set in this regard.  It is rare that DH and I both make a specific game/event but there are few that at least one cant make it. When DC started doing travel sport this changed but that is ok b/c it is a good time for them to learn the world does not revolve only for them. Be warned, these activities also cost more $ than I would ever had thought so time not the only factor depending on HHI.

All this said, there is not a lot of 'me' time or 'couple' time. But we have just 5 more years until they are all out of the house. And the time and attention needed changes as they get older. No longer a mad rush every day, instead we are now at a moderate pace and can see (but do not relish) the finish line.

Good luck!

[/quote]

So, you aren’t parenting them and rely on others.  You realize we only take your kids because we know you neglect your kids and we feel sorry for them.  It’s not carpooling when you don’t drive equally. [/quote]

+1. PP sounds like the typical religious type. Don’t plan for shit because God will provide aka we will burden everyone with our choices.[/quote]

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