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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it’s funny that so many of you think you know. [/quote]

I think it's sad that you've created an environment with your child where they can't talk to you about sex honestly.  [/quote]

NP here.  My husband and I created an open environment with our kids about sex and all that goes with sex (pregnancy, disease, emotional readiness). They knew that we thought sex in high school can be tricky and definitely not idea, but that we understood circumstances.  We even discussed birth control, if they became sexually active or were seriously considering it.  We talk and listen to our kids about a variety of topics that are not always comfortable, but we want the door open so we can guide them the best we can.

That being said, our 16 year old daughter had sex with her bf.  Despite our discussions and education regarding birth control, etc, our daughter did not come to us.  We had expected her to come to us when and if  sex occurred (or ideally just before) so that we could get her birth control (hopefully, in addition to condoms).  Well, we found out about her being sexually active from her best friend.  Seems our daughter and her bf had sex and in the weeks after, they became nervous about pregnancy.  Ugh.  Our daughter shared none of this, with us, but did tell her best girlfriend, who in turn, got concerned and told us.

The good news is that pregnancy did not occur.  The bad news, is that our daughter did not tell us that she was active, despite being very reasonable parents.  When we asked her why she did not tell us, so that we could get her an IUD or BCP, her answer was:

"He (the boyfriend) told me not to tell anyone, especially you guys, because he was afraid that his parents would find out and punish him"

Basically, our 16 year old, had the lack of maturity to know that her own welfare , and that of a possible baby, did not take priority over the chance of her boyfriend getting punished.  Her bf was obviously too immature to see how insane his thinking was....  T

So, it is not always the case that kids will tell their parents, despite having an open, reasonable  environment.  I also never told my own parents, who were fairly open.  The reason why I never told my parents was because I knew that they did not think sex in HS was idea.

It's more complicated that having an open environment where parents are approachable and reasonable.[/quote]

This is absolutely right.  I had a similar experience with my DD.  I suspected she was on the brink of having sex with a BF and had had lots of conversations about safe sex etc. She denied it, but I eventually confirmed when I read a text between she and a girlfriend. She also asked to be on BC to stop "painful cramps" that conveniently became a real nuisance around the same time. We got the BC started as requested, and while I don't know why she wouldn't tell me. . . she didn't.  She may have been concerned I would tell BF's mom or she maybe just didn't want to discuss with her mom. [/quote]

Argh. The best laid plans. I suspect some version of this in my life. Glad all healthy and well. [/quote]

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