Reply to Almost 93, frail, very poor hearing ..will not move

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I am sorry for your loss. I hope there is some peace in knowing she died where she wanted to be in her final days and on her own terms.

That said, since I have been to these rodeo a few times, both sides are making this way  more clear cut than it is. My own mother is determined to age in place and I see as her friends move away or she alienates them with her awful behavior, the isolation is making her even more nutty and unhappy. She keeps taking herself off depression meds. In assisted living she could be properly medicated and make more friends (post pandemic) and have a life. While yes the initial transition is dramatic and awful, I have found within a few months it starts to get better. There is nothing like knowing your loved one is safer and seeing them connecting with others.

Alone in her home mom will need a meal service when she cannot cook. She will need a driver because she cannot walk anywhere. She will need someone to bathe her because there is no room to put a tub on the main floor. She will not have neighbors who care about her since she occasionally treats a neighbor as terribly as she treats me. I will visit her, but I have learned for my own health I cannot subject myself to her abuse often or for very long for a visit. Forgetting the endless safety issues, just having more people involved in making sure she is properly medicated so she can function socially and get along would make a huge difference.[/quote]

Sorry I posted all this without emphasizing enough to OP, I truly hope you can feel at peace with the fact she died exactly where she wanted to be. If you had moved her there is a very good chance this would have happened within the first month and then think of how guilty you would feel and you'd be second guessing. She was where she wanted to be. She had the comfort of her home. You granted her wishes. There is no guilt there. You respected her wishes.[/quote]

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