Toggle navigation
Toggle navigation
Home
DCUM Forums
Nanny Forums
Events
About DCUM
Advertising
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics
FAQs and Guidelines
Privacy Policy
Your current identity is: Anonymous
Login
Preview
Subject:
Forum Index
»
Tweens and Teens
Reply to "I can't keep subsidizing DS"
Subject:
Emoticons
More smilies
Text Color:
Default
Dark Red
Red
Orange
Brown
Yellow
Green
Olive
Cyan
Blue
Dark Blue
Violet
White
Black
Font:
Very Small
Small
Normal
Big
Giant
Close Marks
[quote=Anonymous]I think you can do something right down the middle - not kicking him to the curb, but not coddling. The goal is not to alienate him as much as light a fire under him to become self-sufficient. So you sit down. Ask him what he thinks has worked well/not worked during the past few months. This opens the door for all of you to express your concerns. Then you tell him finances in the home are dramatically different in these times and you are no longer able to have him loafing around with no end goal. (If he knows you are both still working you can say things like taxes, retirement funding, emergency savings, etc are affecting your bottom line) Remind him that he is an adult and has to take some control for his future. Give him a deadline of Dec 1. He can secure a full time job and contribute to his living expenses at home, find a job and move out if he doesn't not want to contribute, or he can enroll in community college or technical program. Suggest that you will apply some savings towards these with the expectation that his earning potential will be higher as an end result. You can check in and if he isn't finding something by Dec. 1 you can at least acknowledge if there has been good effort and see if expectations need to be adjusted. In the meantime, definitely make home life less cozy. If you are woking from home, keep a business-like atmosphere from 8am-6pm with no tv, radio, etc. No late mornings, lazy days, late nights for him. Certainly there are home chores - painting, cleaning, pressure washing, etc - that he can be doing for you or for someone else. Stop buying snacks and easy foods that make it seem like vacation around the house. What is his financial situation? If he has spending money then make sure he's paying his own gas, meals out if he does that, and misc. expenses. [/quote]
Options
Disable HTML in this message
Disable BB Code in this message
Disable smilies in this message
Review message
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics