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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 19-year-old son refuses to look for a job and he doesn’t want to go to college. Should I continue supporting him or make him leave the house?

He had a 3.75 GPA out of high school, and yet he refused to apply to any university. If he wanted to, he probably could have gotten into Harvard, Yale, Princeton, UVA or any school that he wanted to.

Instead he sits around all day, playing video games, talking on Snapchat and just being lazy. He refuses to work and is generally starting to get on all of our nerves (Covid-19 made it worse with the quartining).

so where do we go from here? What is the end game and should we just cut all ties and kick him out or be mindful and continue to support him?

[/quote]

OP- first, I would get your DS into therapy. It's really "off" for a kid with a high GPA not to consider college or plans for the next step. The fact that your DS does have a strong GPA suggests that he was considering his future at one point, but is stuck.

I hope you aren't projecting the Ivies on him-- even kids who blow the roof off in every respect still find it difficult and highly competitive to get into those schools.

After your DS is in therapy, I would take the therapists advice- my worry is that your DS is depressed and anxious. Kicking him out could be the making or breaking of him--I think you need more information to make that decision. Your DS's continued presence in your house without a plan should be contingent on working with a therapist and making/ following a plan. Also, keep in mind that covid has caused mental health issues for a lot of kids. My DS is younger (fourteen)- with DL, he went from As and Bs to Cs and Ds. He felt completely disconnected from learning, friends, life. Getting him back at school was a godsend. [/quote]

Also, OP, ignore the meaner posts. There is some evidence that boys struggle with executive functioning and maturity as young adults (not all, but quite a few if my friends with sons are to be believed). We live in a complex world right now with a lot uncertainty--ff your DS is stuck, he may not have the tools to dig his way out. This is where sessions with an objective therapist could help or provide insight. [/quote]

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