Reply to Family keeps asking me how the baby is doing not how I am doing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My in laws are coming for the birth and this is my concern- I feel like they are here for the baby and not for me. I want people to help ME, not to just want to hold the baby and coo over him. MIL is not the type that will cook or clean for me. I feel so resentful that they are coming. [/quote]

Tell them not to then. You're a big girl. Prioritize yourself if no one else will do it. If you're not going to speak up though, then STFU about it and stop complaining.[/quote]

DH will not hear of them not coming. We have had fights about this. I spoke up for myself and it didn’t work. Thanks for making me feel worse! [/quote]

Yikes.

How long are they staying?

You need to stay in your room and do nothing. Seriously. Hold the baby asking as you want. The newborn phase is all about mom and baby. Also, what about YOUR mom? Your DH sounds like an a$$ for insisting you host his family postpartum.

[/quote]

They are staying in a hotel nearby for 2 weeks (not our apartment, which is too small to host them). But I’m guessing they will come over during the day to see baby. [/quote]

It's not all about YOU. There is a new life and new member of the family - that is exciting and worth celebrating. If you feel like you're going to need help, then line up help but there's no reason to be upset that your in-laws want to meet their grandchild.[/quote]

Seriously hope you are doing ok, Op, and sorry you aren’t getting the support you need from your family. Good thing that they are staying in a hotel. You can set boundaries and say please do not come before 10am or 11am or you can say it would really be helpful if you could come at X time. Definitely rely on takeout while they are there if you can afford it. You nap while the baby naps. If you can stand someone else doing your laundry (I can’t), see if your dh will ask them in advance if they will help with that or make a list of what you do need help with and see if dh will pre-clear with them. Maybe while baby is napping they can run to grocery store or Target for you? It’s been awhile since I’ve had a baby so I can’t remember exactly what you’d need but maybe others can come up with concrete things they could do.[/quote]

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